Reversed jetlag. Waking up on Dutch time while my internal clock is still on Bali, 6 hours ahead.
I open my curtains to the cold grey street I’ve been looking at most of my life. I pull on a robe and take a look around.
I moved in with my parents again when I got back from France half a year ago and unpacked my books and clothes. When I look at all that now I can’t believe how much stuff I have! Especially the clothes; who needs so many clothes?!
All these cute little dresses and pumps and funky sneakers. They feel brand new to me. And they make me feel rich, but at the same time I’m overwhelmed.
I never owned many cd’s but already messed that pile up last night looking for Bob Marley to chase a feeling.
My books… I didn’t even manage to leave the ones I bought on the way. Yes, bought, because I didn’t manage to swap either. And all of them are dear friends with a story and memory behind the one they describe.
I never used to be one for breakfast; but in Asia I learned, and I’m hungry. But all the food that I craved out there isn’t as good as I imagined it. I’d just like some campur.
Banana’s here look weird too, huge and pale.
Going to the loo, I really have to tell myself it’s okay to throw the paper in.
Two steps forward one step back I make my way back into homelife.
And then there’s a letter from a retirementfund I’m apearently in. A feeling of being pinned down by our bureaucrastic society chokes me.
The biggest difference and what I’ll probably miss most is living outside, together. It’s just too cold for outside life here.
And everyone is used to living their own little tunnelvision, hidden from the fresh air. There is a lot of talk, a lot of communication, through facebook and phones, or even face to face, but it’s nowhere near as warm; so much more focussed on ‘me’ and ‘looking out for my stuff’ and ‘taking care of my business’ instead of “How are you, really? Where are you going, where have you been?”
I’ll be homesick to that for a good long while I imagine. I came home much, much too soon.
From singlets and flipflops it’s back to trousers and longsleeves under my same same shirt.
All I want to do is drown myself in all these memories – and I don’t know where to begin.
#2 Indonesia (Bali)
#1 Padangbai, Indonesia
#2 Luang Prabang, Laos
#3 Hoi An, Vietnam
#1 Padangbai, Indonesia
#2 Samraong, Camboia
#3 Canggu, Indonesia