It is happening, again.
It’s been over a year now since I got back.
Most of the time I spend since then I was dreaming, remembering and rebuilding budget for ‘the next trip’. And I knew it’d be in a matter of years, months rather.
But it stayed a distant dream, as I’m slaving my days away not being content in my job, being bummed about having to wear shoes and the local weather.
It never stopped lingering though. I wouldn’t commit to anything longterm.
I live in an anti-squatting situation. It’s a great appartment, but I’m not the tenant; I housesit. Pro is that rent is low. Con is that there’s only a 28-day-notice.
Everybody, including my boss, knows I want to be gone before 2014 comes along.
And it was only a few months ago I finally really overcame my post-travel-depression and learned to enjoy being here, now, again.
As I was falling back into a routined life, it became more of an idea than a fact, maybe…
Until last night.
I went to see my dear friend who just got home from SEA, but only to pack her bags and go back there in 3 weeks. As she was giving me snippets of her experiences, I got goosebumps remembering the feeling of being out there.
She was telling of how one day she got fed up and had to be alone in her head for a bit. So she took her bike and drove. This was in Cambodia. After a while she got to a deserted road crossing right through the jungle. She stopped and took her helmet off. And there was nothing but quiet, pure and immense rumble of the jungle.
That feeling ..! You really have to have been there to understand the ultimate freedom, that connection to …everything! It’s just impossible to put into words. And it made my itch, that had been growing over this past year, just explode.
So I asked for her laptop. I happened to have checked with momondo just that morning, but only to get an idea. I’d been looking at a flight to Denpasar on November 11th.
With an excited sparkle in her eyes she asked “Are you booking, now?!”
But I’m not even sure yet if I want to fly on Bali, and pick up where I left of last time in Padangbai. ‘t Was just a thought.
And I’m not sure yet when I want to go. I still don’t have the budget I set, together yet. And I’m having so much fun seeing all my friends now. And, I don’t know…
“All I’m hearing are excuses not to do it. But why not? You’ve been planning to do this for só long now. What are you waiting for? Another year of being stuck and misserable in this place to fly by? Life is happening right now. And we’re no longer waiting for it!”
So I booked.
It’s funny how I was just talking to another friend who’s done the backpacking thing, who’s had a taste, that afternoon. He asked me when it starts; is it when you’re packed, or when you step onto the plane, or when you put your bag down in the hostel. I replied it starts for me when I’ve booked. That’s when it becomes real.
And now it’s real!
Such a weight has been lifted of my shoulders. I can’t even sweat the small stuff anymore, like having to work a job I unlove for just 4 more months.
I’ve got my one-way ticket out of here. And whatever happens, happens. I’ll find out when I get there. I know my way around now. And I can’t wait!